Sunday, 7 December 2014

Regrets.

We all have them. Some people like to think that everything happens for a reason, and I too follow that train of thought but, somehow there are always things I wish hadn't happened, had happened, or happened differently.

Sometimes I get lost in my head imagining how my life would be different if just one detail was changed. If I'd gone to this party would I have met the love of my life? If I hadn't ever listened to that one obscure song would I have different memories? If Mrs. Worthington hadn't been my English teacher at secondary school would I love it so much? Would I want to follow in her footsteps? If I hadn't been let down too many times would I still be me, introverted, or would I have loads of friends?

I like to think that I have some control over the way I spend my time, and live my life but the truth is I don't think any of us do. Maybe it's just me.

I regret leaving school at 16. I should have continued on for sixth form but I went elsewhere.
But if I hadn't experienced life outside of a private school, I wouldn't appreciate what I had quite so wholly.

I regret being horrible. When i was 14, and I didn't know who I wanted to be yet, I met a few bad influences and I wasn't nice to people and I think about it a lot.
But if I hadn't lived this phase I wouldn't have known who I wanted to be. Who I have become.

I regret letting people take away my self esteem. I have this notion that had I been confident I'd be a singer.
But if my self esteem had never been low, I wouldn't have spent so much time alone, I wouldn't know me the way I do. I know what makes me happy, what I'm comfortable with. I spent so much of my life wandering around following other people, fooling myself into thinking I liked the things that others did just to fit in, and now I just don't care.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that even though we may regret things, a good spin can always be put on the outcome, and show that everything really does happen for a reason.

If you understand me at all, and have any regrets you want to put a positive spin on, you can in the comments.

Thankyou for reading if you got this far,

Alex.

No comments:

Post a Comment